Leave the gun. Take the hummus.

Whoooooooooooaaaa, doggy.

Dafna is starting to wonder if the lengthy and inexcusable absences from blogging stem from a deeply subconscious desire to turn every post into a roundup.

First of all, it's February. A lot has happened since November in our lives, and maybe in yours too. Maybe you got a new haircut, saw Elvis at the gas station, or donated a kidney to science. Maybe you walked naked into a Wal-Mart and stole a pair of socks. We just don't know what you, our faithful readers, are capable of. The sky's the limit!

For our part, we've seen a few concerts, eaten some hummus and finished the first semester. Dafna moved to a fantastic apartment off Dizengoff Street, very close to important things like the beach, and a branch of Tony Vespa Pizza that's open until three in the morning. Her friendly and physically-fit roommate is from Agoura Hills, aka where some of Rachel's family lives, aka you're welcome for that full circle.

Concerts: First of all, we saw Shtar. Yes, the one and only Shtar, Haredi Judaism's answer to...music. They were great. Then we saw the Greilsammers, who were celebrating the release of their new album, which is probably the best thing ever. Michael got a little crazy with the violin at times, but we forgive him. It's hard not to be excited when you're that awesome. Then we saw Tomer Yosef! And now this song is on repeat for the rest of our lives: עברתי רק כדי לראות.

Hummus: We went nuts at Caful, which is at the beginning of Nahalat Binyamin. They have this great, deconstructed Sabich hummus. Rachel was beside herself:


Also, there have been more endeavors in the masabchah category, and Dafna has found that there exists some vast conspiracy in which each and every hummus place pronounces the word masabchah differently, and each and every time it is NOT the way she pronounces it when ordering.

The first semester: Rachel is officially just one semester away from being Israel's top conflict resolver, and Dafna is one children's pop-up book away from finally understanding when exactly the Assyrians invaded Judah. The Second Millenium BCE question was thankfully solved when her class just stopped talking about it.

That's all for now, folks. Our fearless hummus aficionados are currently both in the U.S., enjoying the simple cuisine of their homeland, whether it be a fresh, delightful California fish taco, a slice of New Haven pizza, or this Thanksgiving dinner that Dafna forced her family to stage in violation of the Pocahontas Act of 1932, which states that all Thanksgiving-related foodstuffs, parades, giant balloons and alumni football games must be relegated to the month of November. Please don't tell the IRS. We didn't even have a whole turkey.

Hummus is as Hummus Does

This is a picture from Megiddo, where billions of years ago, futuristic aliens shipwrecked on a desert island dug gigantic grain pits to hide from dinosaurs and zombies, subsisting only on twinkies and cockroaches, the only edible survivors of a nuclear holocaust.



Can you tell Dafna is a little behind in her readings? (A clue in the pesky Second Millennium BCE mystery: The word "millennium" probably means there are 1000 years involved. Stay tuned for the next clue.)

Friends, there's a new favorite hummus style in town: masabacha. Surely we're not the first to discover it, and we're happy to share this news with you, but don't even think about touching our bowls of it. Get your own! Basically it's whole chickpeas in a lemony, garlicky thick tehina and basically, it's awesome. We finally went to Bahadonas, a lovely sidewalk hummus joint near Dafna's old Tel Aviv 'hood. Her favorite part about the hummus here? It's tangy. Like tang. It's a kick in a glass. Has a nice little zip to it, and the pita was warm and spongy but not overpowering.

Folks, Rachel is the now the proud holder of a passport stamp from Chicken Kiev! After a last-minute, 24-hour trip to the capital of buttery fried poultry and the Ukraine, we can officially say that Rachel is the coolest journalist of all time.

Reunited and the Hummus is so good

Okay, let's be clear: even though you may find some circular motions in this post, it is by no means a round-up. Round ups are so last blog year. This is more of a "Where are they now?" expose.

To be honest, this picture pretty much sums up Dafna's return to this great land:



It's been a whirlwind two weeks - Gilad Schalit is home, Qaddafi is really, really dead, Rachel and Dafna have both started a new school year, and we're pretty sure we had Hummus Ben Sira twice in one week. Rachel has moved into a sweet little apartment in Rehavia with a personal kiddie pool, just down the street from Bibi. Hopefully there will be a block party soon. Dafna is all settled in to her digs at Tel Aviv University, and by settled in we of course mean watching magnificent Israeli cable TV 24/7. Two nights ago, she fulfilled her lifelong dream of eating a bag of her favorite Israeli granola and watching the season 3 premiere of Srugim, aka Friends minus all the sex.

But also, Dafna has been doing lots of reading and posturing, chiefly in the field of Biblical Archaeology. She's still trying to figure out exactly when the Second Millenium BCE was. Any suggestions? Rachel has been explosively busy not only as famed night/duty/holiday supplement/copy editor emeritus at the Jerusalem Post, but also starting her second (and final!) year as Hebrew U.'s best Conflict Resolution and Mediation graduate student. We think she's figured out the solution to Middle East Peace: isn't pita bread the real enemy? Have we made that joke before? It still works.

Also, this is probably going to jinx everything, but something really weird and other-wordly has been happening to our two favorite hummus bloggers ever since they first arrived in the Holy Land some two years ago. They have the insane ability to actually control television programming. Every time one of them says "I wish this were on," or "That's just like this movie you haven't seen but hopefully will get to watch on TV soon because it's not worth renting," it actually comes true. Case in point: while recently watching Clueless, Rachel brought to light the fact that the movie is based on Jane Austen's Emma. Two nights later, while visiting her Savta (Grandmother), Dafna noticed a froofy British film was on TV when she came in. Do we even have to tell you? Emma.

What are the odds??

Welcome home

Today is a historic day for Israel. Gilad Schalit, a kidnapped soldier who has been held in captivity by Hamas terrorists for roughly five years and four months (1,941 days), is coming home to Israel. In exchange for Schalit, 1,027 Palestinian prisoners are being returned to the Gaza Strip, the West Bank and east Jerusalem. The plan is already underway this morning. Schalit has been transferred to Egypt (it's 10:12 am and he was just interviewed by Egyptian state television. He apparently speaks fluent Arabic now.) and his family is waiting to meet him at Israel's Tel Nof Air Force Base in Rehovot, near Tel Aviv, where he will be flown soon. The 1:1,027 swap, as the media has dubbed it, is insane and beautiful at the same time. Israel values human life so much that it is willing to set over 1,000 terrorists free; today, it will set 477 free with the other 550 to follow later. Israel needs every parent whose child willingly or unwillingly enlists in the IDF to know the government will do its best to save him or her. On the other hand, Hamas supporters rallied in the West Bank this morning chanting, "We want another Schalit."

I just pray Schalit reaches Israel and his home, Mitzpe Hila, safely.

Israel is welcoming a less historic, but still exciting Israeli home today... the one, the only: Dafna Nechama Laskin. She is flying at this very moment having dreams of Michael Greilsammer's violin doing the backstroke in a bowl of hummus.

Where there's a will, there's a hummus

Ahalan Wasahalan Hummus Enthusiasts,

Here to talk plans. Big, fantastic plans.

1. Dafna has recently read in several cookbooks and on certain, trustworthy websites, that it's possible softening chickpeas in baking soda has a detrimental effect on the integrity of the resulting hummus. A more back-breaking solution? Peeling the chickpeas after boiling them.
2. Thanks to a secret family tip from Dafna's Tarzana cousin, Etti, we now know that just a small, discreet amount of mayonnaise may give hummus a smoother, yet more cohesive, consistency. Report from the lab to follow.
3. October 13th marks the First Birthday of the sweetest little niece you've ever seen, evidenced here:


Do you think she'd like a hummus cake? For that matter, don't you think she should be eating a completely hummus-based diet? Very digestible for babies and no chewing required.

4. Are you sitting down? Are you starting your engines, battening down the hatches, and girding your loins? In mere weeks, Dafna returns to the Holy Land of Hummus, where she will be studying the Archaeology and Geographical History of Ancient Hummus Production. Yes, readers. It is high time for a long hiatus from American hummus. Headed back to where it all began.

Hummus hits Palo Alto

Dear hummus lovers,

There’s a new hummus hot spot taking downtown Palo Alto by storm. Rachel discovered it when she was home for her sister’s beautiful wedding—at which no hummus was served, but other really delicious foods were. Oren’s Hummus Shop on University Avenue has a bright and chic ambiance. Crystal chandeliers hang from its ceilings, and a quirky chalkboard with eye-catching scribbles about the origins of hummus is displayed on a wall. The menu is pretty expansive, offering a variety of Middle Eastern foods like tabuli and baklava. Best of all, it’s open till midnight, unusual for the city that turns in around 9 p.m. Dafna ordered the hummus with beef on top and Rachel ate hummus topped with chickpeas. No, it was not the best hummus we’ve ever eaten. It was bland, weak in the spice and flavor department, particularly lacking in lemon. Just bland and kinda boring. On the upside, it was creamy, had a nice texture and it came warm—generally makes hummus taste good and easy to lap up. Rachel is also told that the meat was pretty delicious. The pita came hot and fresh, very key. All in all, it made for a filling midnight snack post-movie at the Stanford Theater, practically next door. Enjoy, Palo Altans.

Hummus with beef on top


Instructions on the wall


Back in the land of hummus, the social justice movement has packed up its tents. All summer long protesters have met regularly in the north, south and center for rallies and marches demanding affordable housing and “justice, not charity.” Now, the movement, made up mostly of students and young families, but with ultra-Orthodox and elderly supporters, is hoping to influence the Knesset’s next budget making health care, education and housing more of a priority. The movement is launching roundtable discussions across the country on these topics. The aim is inclusivity.

Here is a shot from Rothschild Boulevard, Tel Aviv where the first tent city started over a month ago.

"All of Israel's tents for one another" (based on the teaching in Hebrew "all of Israel is responsible for one another")



Rachel also has a blossoming career as a bridesmaid. It will be tough returning to civilian life.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back into the hummus

Uh, okay.

Inspired by her new-found geographical surroundings (Connecticut), Dafna decided it was time to try this delicious-looking hummus recipe from Michael Solomonov, whose Zahav restaurant in Philadelphia has received endless accolades and critics' admiration.

Since Zahav is apparently the sort of restaurant two NY Post writers recently suggested was worth leaving the city for, and where the hummus is supposedly a 'revelation,' one would imagine the house hummus recipe to be amazing. Incredible. Life-altering. Divine.

With words like these floating around, the anticipation was unbearable. The chickpeas were soaked in baking soda overnight, as directed. Then brought to a boil with the garlic cloves, then kept at a simmer, yadda yadda yadda. Fast forward to the tasting, because what else matters? Verdict:

This hummus was a disaster of epic proportions, not only because of the build-up, but because it was just terrible. Dafna has made some questionable dishes before, but this was bad enough to rival even the Great Gnocchi Debacle of 2010. Ask Rachel how bad that gnocchi was. (The words 'glue' and 'gum' should come up.)

Nothing helped. Not more lemon juice, not fresh garlic, not salt, nothing. The hummus coats the mouth like a combination of hot tooth paste and gum that has lost it's structural integrity thanks to that piece of chocolate you had in your mouth right before you started chewing. And in hindsight, as Dafna's mom pointed out, it was doomed from the start. Using boiled garlic cloves vs. fresh. Adding plain tehina instead of preparing it first with the proper seasonings. This stuff made her stomach hurt after just one spoonful. She's just glad Rachel didn't have to suffer through it.

Dafna doesn't blame Chef Solomonov. Maybe this hummus tastes good at the restaurant, and she's sure the other dishes are delicious as well. But she can't shoulder all the blame for this terrible, terrible injustice served to perfectly innocent, hopeful, peace-loving chickpeas. Retaliation is in the works, via Dafna's mom's Lebanese hummus recipe.